Adult friendship
Quantity matters.
When making new friends as an adult, a realistic thing to remember is it takes time and effort to build a strong friendship. In the beginning, it can be especially important to emphasize quantity of interaction, even over quality. This is difficult to prioritize in a time-starved economy.
A reason quantity can be so important is that according to the report published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships by Jeffrey Hall, considering someone a casual friend takes about 50 hours of time spent together. If you want to be at friend level, it takes 90 hours and more than 200 hours to be considered close friends. These days it’s hard to see someone for an hour or two once a month let alone spend 50 hours with them. Yet, relationships are worth investing in. When faced with mortality, most folks agree, that it comes down to life’s simple moments with those we love as the things that truly matter. A new friend to love could be right around the corner for you.
So, how do you do things that help you meet new friends and get more quantity of time with them?
Join a social group or club: Look for groups or clubs that align with your interests, hobbies, or goals. This could be anything from a hiking group, book club, sports team, or a professional networking group. Attending regular meetings or events can help you connect with like-minded people and build new friendships. It is helpful to have something that meets at regular intervals where you don’t have to decide the logistics each time.
Volunteer: Volunteering is a great way to meet new people while also giving back to the community. Find a cause you are passionate about and look for opportunities to volunteer. Whether it's helping out at a local animal shelter, volunteering at a charity event, or joining a community service group, you'll be able to meet new people who share similar values. These shared values can be a great point starting point of connection.
Attend social events: Keep an eye out for social events happening in your community or workplace. It can be easy to pass these up in favor of another night in, binging your favorite show. Yet, don't be afraid to put yourself out there and introduce yourself to new people! Again, another person to share life’s special moments with could be one event away. Attend happy hours, meet-ups, networking events, or community festivals. Attending these events can help you meet new people and start conversations with others who are also looking to make new connections.
Make friends with your neighbors. Another important aspect of making and keeping friends is proximity. A study conducted by Brigham Young University researchers revealed that individuals who live close to their friends report higher levels of life satisfaction and overall well-being. Having friends nearby increases the chance you will spend more quantity of time with them and thus become closer and develop a sense of community and belonging.
Remember, friendships take work and oftentimes that means a lot of upfront investment and delayed gratification because vulnerability doesn’t happen overnight. Trust that there is so much untapped potential for rewarding relationships waiting for you as you put yourself out there.
How did you meet the person you now call your closest friend? Share with us in the comments!